A run in the long run

Finally, armed with 100 plus lemon lime and my fav choc(cadbury twirl), i head home and not think twice. Grabbed my red adizero which have been collecting dust and my fave red mizuno singlet, and head out to run. Did longer than i wanted to. If i recall correctly, the last time i ran was like ages ago. Plus the hiatus from team genesis which is coming to about 2 months now. I am declaring myself unfit and fat. gotta start runing regularly man. damn..

Anyways.. nothing much happening. Just that i realised my Sats this month seem to have something. 2nd aug is nana's bday. 9th aug is... NDP! 16 is sgt bag's wedding. 23rd is idp open day. gdness gracious me.....

Still waiting for idafi's photo.. gotta plan an outing... grrrrrr......


*the first step is always the hardest. try standing up first u lazy ass!*

3Guards AEI! - explained

AEI is greek for ALWAYS.
3Guards AEI! is the 3rd battalion singapore guards 13th mono's motto.

Why AEI?
Simply put, it coincides with the Guards motto of "always ready, ready to strike!" i believe that motto is self explained. AEI also reflects our current CO's, LTC Mark Tan, vision for the battalion. That is "build deep, go far". his target is not only for the 2 yrs of ns but also the following 10 yrs of reservist. meaning 13th mono will ALWAYS be 13th mono. we will ALWAYS have the bond. i love dat.. reasons why i wanna do reservist.
YES.. i am still not over 2 nights ago.

*i never choose to go away, its juz that u dun wan me to stay*

A toast for the best.

A toast to 3rd battalion siangapore guards for being the best infantry unit.
A toast to one of the best night i ever had.

I was the first of the invited guest to arrived at bedok camp. Booking in camp after 5 months sure bring back alot of fond memories. we all agree that we never left the place. we all still feel at home when we stepped into bedok camp. That was our home for more than a year of our ns life. Many things happen. We were there when everything happened. From their first day to the turning ops parade. Its like a father watching the birth of his daughter till the moment he give her away to her husband. Ultimately, they are still yours no matter what. and the memories are meant for u to keep. We greet each other with hugs and handshakes. Our bond is still there. and i am thankful for that. BRAVO company commanders are the best that a man can ever ask for. So much so that we sacrifice time and effort to double the work of a normal ns sergeant to bring glory of the best coy in 3guards.

Its 0120am and i am feeling emo. I juz had the best walk with idafi and khai from simpang to my house. we talked and joked along the way. they will sorely be missed. i already missed and still missing late nights, supper at simpang, talking cock and best of all, i miss shan. I still remember his reaction when i left camp. he juz turned away and smoke his cigarrete. he told me he couldnt bear to see me leave. and he turn away to prevent himself from crying. Here's the guy who is arguably the best sergeant in 3guards. so much for the love. haiz... i wish i could turn back time.

Photos will be in facebook once my dear darling idafi decides to upload.

i think i am goin crazy. for 2 nights in a row i came home after 12midnight. i played soccer at 12am yesterday and reach home at 2 plus. slept at 3 and wake up at 6 to go work. today, i reached home at 1. and its already 130. i still haven sleep. haiz...

*let me dwell in my memories*

I juz remembered something s1 and me talked about. its bout how we still haven let go of bedok camp and the battalion. i juz remembered CO's motto to us. BUILD DEEP,GO FAR. its so materialising. s1 said that u guys are like the root of this tree. u were there to give what it needs to grow and develop. and u are still the most important part of the tree after it grow. Without u, there's no them

*3guards- AEI!*

OMG OMG OMG

OH MY GOD!!!!

at the current moment, i feel like a girl. I spent $77 bucks in a hair salon. for the first time ever, i got my hair cut and washed. And i bought a shampoo and conditioner for my hair. i have been having hair problem and have been trying to find the right shampoo. so yeah.. i ended up spending $77 at the hair salon.

Next up, i wen to guardian to get my bro his wax. his wax cost $8.80. total bill.. $95.20. Do the maths okie? and what did i spent on? for me to know. for u to find out. i feel like a girl right now. Thats a clue for u babe. but i had a nice chat with the aunty at guardian. MACAM BEST FRIEND SIUL! she want to see me next week. hahhaa.. and she said i am shy cuz i am an aquarian. to those who didnt believe i am shy.. I AM!

anyway.. i hope things work. cuz yeah.. ouh nevermind.. hoping to play soccer at 12 midnite later wif rabbit. cant wait to head back to bedok camp tomolo for celebration too... YIPPE!!!!!!!

=)

i got a nice suprise before i got home. Seem like there is a demand for me. i mean there are people who wan to work wif me. i cant see a gd explanation for that. i juz do wad i gotta do and keep quiet. Thats all. am i so appealing? gdness...
this is concerning guys. Now for the gerls. i dun see the reason y they will wan to fall for me. i am juz an average guy. i have no car. no cash. no condo. no career. no life.
but they say people love u for who u are inside rite? EVEN WORSE. i have the same thing as u do.. oki.. except maybe for the gerls we have different things. but like every one else.. i have a heart. liver. kidney. stomach and wad not. so i am no different from other peeps. geeee... maybe one day i wil know. hahha..

seem like i was on hiatus for a while. Didnt have the motivation to blog i guess. or maybe cuz i haven been feeling well lately. i juz dunno why. but nothing interesting to blog about. i have no life, no gf. yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

shit.. i need to get a life.. anyone know of any shop dat have life for sale??

For wad it's worth

Stepped into a familiar place today. And Thankfully, i was greeted with a little shock and loads of smile. All dat made it worthwhile. esp the one on his face. NICE.. haha... sounds gay right? but i am perfectly straight. really... Y NO ONE BELIEVE ME??

anyway.. wanted to run but decided against it last min cuz its malam jumaat. so yeah.. i dont wan to get into any trouble or anything.. i will juz do something else.. hahha..

oh.. i know i realised this sometime ago but i juz wan to say it. i think that it is very sad that i cant commit long to anything in Sg. basically cause we are confirm goin aussie. and sis say if i wan to stay here.. i muz go back and forth.. tiring and waste of moolah to me.. gdness.. i still think it is very saddening really.. how how how??

oh.. i was thinking of the things dat i am really missing now..
Peeps - u and ur best fren.. another u and ur best fren.. mil mil.. my men.. my fellow commanders.. team genesis.. .miss ruk.. mrs teng.. murni and abu.. miss all my 2e1 class mates..
Places - soccer fields.. starbucks.. marina mac.. vivo.. my old room.. there's alot but cant think of any now.. grrr..
haiya.. i forget liao.. nvm.. next time den..
TA!

oh oh.. who ever joining nike+ 10k, let me know okie??!!!

Nike+ 10k

YESH AHHHHH!!!
i am officially part of nike+ 10k the human race. Thanks to sis help, i paid the registration fee of 25bucks. Running for a gd cause is always gd. And i think its time that i get back in shape by starting to run and stuff. I was thinking of getting the nike sportsband. Its like so cool! It cost 100bucks. i am still considering. DAMN. ouh... for those who dunno bout nike+ 10k. its basically a worldwide event where everyone runs 10km for charity. Kudos to nike.

Anyway.. brought up the possibility of me not wanting to go to aussie to sis. but hahaha.. okie.. she convince me to go. and yesh.. we are CONFIRM going.. wah lau ehhhhh... gdness... that clear a few matters up.

and since i have no time to hit the gym. been doin stuff at home. Wanted to run after WORK but it RAINED. kinda a gd excuse not to run ah lazy ass. Bit and jun ask me play soccer. but mak kau.. at AMK... nah.. dats a weee bit too far for my liking.. and at night some more... hahah...

*i am closing my eyes still*

wad's this?

Have u ever dream of someone so much that it hurts when u open your eyes?

It is a dream that is awake when u are asleep.

A dream that fulfil all dreams.

YOU.

Heh.. sorry.. just recalling some experience sometime back.

dont u ever have that kind of feeling?

The kind that make u dream of someone night after night?

The kind of feeling that every lingering moment drifts u away?

I am waiting here to be taken away.

*right here. right now.*

procastination at its best

Procastinating.
yes.. that my friend would best describe what i am currently doing. I think i think too much and do too little i guess. Macam Ted in How i Met Your Mother. Its a funny series btw. Should watch it. NICE!

anyhoooooo.. i still have not decided what i wan in life. maybe i have decided. i choose simplicity with no worries. but no one said that life was goin to give u what u want on a silver platter right? there's too many things to worry about. Family.StudiesMONEY.friends.others.urself. geeeeeee...

Who cares?
Just finish watching L :change the world, the third instalment of Death note the movie. I must say it is very different from the first 2 movies. L show much more emotions and he actually ventured out of his comfort zone to save the world. Its not as nice as when L and Kira try to outwit each other in the first 2 movies. This time he outwit one Dr kujo or K. but cool nonetheless. hahhaa..

dah.. malas ah.. heh..

Weit: HAAAAAAvvvvveeeeeeee u met ted? u still haven use dat pick up line for me oki!

mistakes

Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes even when u know something is a mistake, you've got to make it anyway.

Offered

Suprise suprise...
I was chatting on msn when the pop-up appeared. It read university of newcastle. Initially i thought that it was probably a junk mail. Furthermore, Idp said that it will take 4-6 weeks for them to get back to me. And it have only been 2-3 weeks. Thats fast. I am not going to reply because i am goin to apply for Macquarie in august. Both are business courses btw. But Macquarie is more prestigous and its in Sydney's cbd area,which is a plus for a biz student. Well.. shall wait to see how things unfold.

Got a morning call from prudential. Asking when i can start.Its a part time job. and the hours are very flexi. and its either door to door or survey. in the area my living area some more. its 10 bucks per hour. i am not too sure if i will take it. But if i wan to be a biz student. i got to start somewhere really.It also help in learning how to interact with people and build up my confidence. i am not too sure bout this.

And my old supervisor from airport asked if i would wan to come back and work. basically i follow my bro who is the truck driver to do deliveries and collections. its from 7am to 5pm but usually work ends around 7. ot pay is 5 per hour. and work on sat till 3. i am not keen on that. and i dun like to travel long distance due to some personal problem. pluz.. i have issues with my bro's temperament.

choices! GRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

*To live in regret is the same as not living at all*

Hanging on

This is for those who need it.

Hang in there cause u are stronger than u are. Hang in there cuz u are stronger than u think u will ever be.

There are peeps who actually care even if u cant see it.

Deep down u know u can get tru it.

u will get tru it..
juz got to reach deep down inside..


if u need a helping hand... or a listening ear..
u know where to find one...


right here... anytime...

helllo

heylo.

i actually wanted to blog about my perspective on certain issues, but decided against it because someting made me change my mind. Maybe along the way i have the sudden urge to say my view then maybe i will.

Mum just offered me money to cut my hair. She thought that i didnt cut my hair cause i had no money. I JUST DONT WAN TO CUT MY HAIR! ok.. maybe i will get it layered and trim juz a little okie.. i want to try having long hair. for once?

Yesterday night the guyz miraculously managed to drag my sorry ass down to simpang bedok at 11pm. It was nice to see them and hear their thailand trip. it was very funny listening to them recalling their experiences. i wish i was there. well, i was almost there but had to back out due to personal reasons. If not it would have been fun to go with kozaw, alex, aloy, daniel and kenny. Gonna miss genesis and these guys when i leave. speaking of leaving, Alex left this morning for australia. kozaw going to leave for myammar tomorrow. Alfred leaving for indo on sat till 5h aug. and ash gonna leave for thai on sun. WHEN ARE WE EVER GOIN TO HAVE A MATCH OR PLAY SOCCER LIKE THAT??? i am so sadddddddddddddddddddddddddd.... no soccer = FAT FAT FAT.. not like i am not fat rite now.... HELP?

*i cannot think of anything to put here currently*

The art or discovery

What do u do on a lazy sunday?



I pratically did nothing other than discovering a few channels that i got hooked on. Namely, they are the History channel, National Geographic channel and Discovery channel. Its really amazing and cool on what you can learn from these channels. They are all very nice to watch.



But i have to say that my favourite would be Fight Masters. Especially the episode on Special Forces. It really shows the special forces pushing themselves beyond the human threshold. And example would be how an ex navy seal can actually stay in a tub full of ice cold water for an hour while fighting off hypothermia. A normal human being would be i hypothermial state in under half an hour. The mental toughest and physical conditioning of the seals was in his favour. HOw he manage to maintain his internal body temperature at 37.5 degrees celcius is mind blowing even to the scientist. The best part is that he had to do a circuit in a normal conditon and in a hypothermial state. Guess what? he did better in the hypothermial state than when he is in the normal state. i think its due to the adreneline rush and the state of anxiety which pushes our abilities up one notch. And there were other experiments too. Like examining the state of dehydration and also the state of total darkness. The result is astonishing i tell you. To those who have cable, do not miss fight master.



For those who are not interested in violence or anything related to that, i would recommend national geographic's "mad lab" or "how do they do it" or "i didn't know that". basically all the shows is about science in everyday life. Like in I didn't know that, they actually cut a plasma tv to see what is inside. Basically a plasma tv is a sheet of plasma of air in between 2 sheets of glass. And the thing that give its images are gases. Cool huh? well.. i said i didnt know that when i first saw it. Now i know. Thanks to the discovery of discovery. COOLNESS!



As you can see, i have like alot of time on my hand. Basically the main reason of why i am growing FAT. I know i should but i don't seem to have the motivation to. Those who know me know that i am a lazy ass and that i can never go out alone. SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT LIKE TO BE ALONE. okie fine, most of the time yes. but there are times when i would love to be alone so that i dont have to hurt anyone. Its more of a process of me letting myself cool. And i know one thing that never fail to make me feel better. SOCCER. but even soccer can be frustrating at times. HEH... or maybe its just me.



Anyway, I like blogging this way. Its kin of nice to read and i think i am more coherent in delivering my message across. But i dont actually have any message behind all my entries. Like i said, it is just me blabbering nonsense or trying to make sense out of nonsense which in actual sense is nonsensical really. to those who trying to figure out the last sentence, Dont bother. Its actually full of nonsense.

Hope u all had a great weekend peeps. and have things to look forward to this week. ADIOS!

*if its impossible to turn dreams into reality. DONT believe in impossibilities. BELIEVE IN TURNING UR DREAMS INTO REALITY!!*

A reunion at last

first and foremost, i received some flak and some concerns over previous entry. i would like to say thank you for those who were concerned for me. I juz would like to reiterate that the entry was entirely me ranting and venting my frustrations out. it was not directed to anyone. THANKS!

well.. i think i should start writing coherently and in proper sentences. If you don't practice your language, you might lose it. so, this entry will be a start for me. wish me luck yeah?

As planned, Artsix decided to meet at 12pm at Eastpoint. And us ,being us, arrived late. actually kaiwei reached first but made a trip to challenger to check out some stuff. i was next then adam. next was hana followed by stef. in the end, fahimah wif tim dropping by to chat for a while and pick adam out.
Despite the years that passed, we are still the same bunch of noisy mischievious bunch. Chilled at starbucks and just talked bout the past and the future. Adam is flying off tomorrow to Melbourne(unsw) while kaiwei will be flying off next sun to canberra(anu). Adam and me made plans to keep in contact in Sydney when i arrive there. coolness!
i think the most significant thing that happened was when adam asked if i was attached. Everyone was shocked when i told them that i was actually together with anastassia after ju. i am not sure the reason why. maybe it was due to the fact that anas was different in sch before something happened that made her change. Well, i am still thankful i know her. =>
And one more thing that seem to strike a chord with me was when adam exclaimed "when are u ever serious wan?" to that, i just replied with a smile. i think i receive that kind of comment alot.
Anyway, the bunch still nice. Fahimah's damn cool. she can mimick a filipino very well and she can contour her body in weird ways. Steffie was her usual self, fishball face with a cartoon voice. i love her to bits! hana will always be hana. ahha. and kaiwei was his usual quiet self. Adam.. well... in words of steffie, adam juz cant stop yakking. i miss thos peeps..

i got pics. but its in my hp. i am feeling a bit lazy to upload into the comp and upload on the blog. and due to popular demand. i will be making a facebook account soon i guess. till the next entry peeps.
ENJOY THE WEEKENDS!

This is it...

FUCK...
there i said it..
seriously... i wonder how much more i can take..
i dunno.. fuck...

sometimes i wonder...
wad's the point...
fuck...
i duno where to begin really...

FUCK!...

i am doin it here cuz.. i duno.. dun feel like talking bout it..wan to juz let everything out...

around a yr ago i suffered a heartbreak..
till now i am still enduring..
2 yrs ago.. there was the fucking divorce and break up..
and i am still sore...
den i had to take each setbacks wif a smile..
i dunno how much more..
wad the fuck...

now?
i broke 2 gerls heart..
and frankly.. it not my wish to break them.. i had no choice..
and i dun think they can see it..
fuck.. u think i like dat?
i had to pretend to be happy still..
shit...
as if that was not enuf...
both had to try to avoid me..
when all i ask is for frenship and sincerity..
one even go all the way to say things dat would make me slap her face if i wasnt patient enuf..
seriusly.. dats how i feel.
sometimes.. i even wan to say fuck off,,,
but no.. i stayed strong..
i try to be around for everyone still...
and i am still trying... i dunno who can se.. but.. its not for anyone else.. but.. for me...
and its not as if i dun wan someone to hear me rant..
its not as if i dun wan to hold someone close..
fuck.. i wan dat..
and fuck...
i need someone now...
is this my breaking point???
FUCK!

FUCK!
its not my fucking choice to move to autralia.
FUCK... u think i wan to be away from all my frenz?
to those who think so..
FUCK U!
if i was given a choice.. yes..
i would love very much to stay here..
maybe an offer from nus or ntu would sway me..
but.. fuck..
i wasnt gd enuf aite...

i registered for ozzy uni juz now.
upon reaching home...
i start to ponder...
like fuck... 20k per year.. in aussie dollars..
dats like fuck...
and i am afraid wif the unfamiliar..
i duno if i can cope wif the change..
or maybe cuz i dun wan to..
i love my frens too much...
FUCK...

THE BASTARD IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE IS NOT HELPING EITHER...
u got a fucking prob.. fuck u come find me...
i paid my fucking share of the bill is this house.. in fact..
i pay much more den u..
u think this house belongs to u?
FUCKING HELL...
the house is not even under ur FUCKING name..
fuck.. u drink the drinks like u bought it..
u eat as if u expect to be served wif out having to pay for ur fucking share...
fuck.. u are like wad?? 27 or 28?
wad u doin?
U SLEEP... U FUCK AROUND...
fuck... i was in 2 minds to punch u silly really..
but yeah..
i kept my cool somehow..
i dunno how much more i can take..

bro wan to take me away to stay wif him.
i dun wan to.. cuz i dun wan to be away from my frenz..
no... fuck...
they are all i have.. now u wan to take it away from me?
FUCK...
might as well u take a fucking knife and stab me in the fucking nuts...
u got a prob wif my frenz coming over?
fuck... my frenz never even touch any of ur fucking stuff...
fuck.. all they do is juz to stay in my room!
and fuck u...
u smoke in my room.. fuck.. i hate the fucking ciggs smell okie...

FUCK...
i seriusly duno how much more i can take.. serius...
fuck...

to those who complain dat life sucks.. think again...

this entry is not directed to anyone... or maybe juz one...
but this is juz me letting my anger out.. to those who feel offended..
i am truly sorry.. there are things u dunno bout me..
and there are things dat u may never even know...

to those who are concern...
thanks.. really..
i can not ask for anything more..
all i need to know is dat u cared..
thanks.. (,")

expect the unexpected

morning call by from faidhi..
i am working tomolo..
maybe after dat i head down to kozaw's shop to give him a kiss..
den head down to salon to trim my hair...

thurs got date wif alfred..
a date dat was suppose to be last week.
heh..

and.. farhana smséd me..
gathering for artsix this sat..

wad more can i say?

*time and tide wait for no man*